(Exactly what the title says it is. I can’t show you the new one because it would ruin the book, but I can show you this one because it’s funny and doesn’t say much about the plot.)
Dracula And Kittens is not Bram Stoker’s Dracula. They share the same characters, plot, and settings, but where Bram Stoker drops literary references to Hamlet and Othello, Dracula And Kittens rejoices in referencing Fear And Loathing In Las Vegas and the Ultimate Warrior.
Also? Our Dracula is Black and I’m proud of that. There is a trend to make Dracula a racist in popular culture, and I thought I’d put a stop to that by modeling our Dracula after the lovable James Avery. Remember him? He was Uncle Phil in the Fresh Prince Of Bel Air. He was also in Beastmaster 2: Through The Portal Of Time, but we shouldn’t hold that against him.
And you know what? Making this change added a new layer of humor to Dracula and Kittens. Gleefully brought out by Dracula teasing Harker about his “racism showing” throughout the book.
While Dracula And Kittens and Bram Stoker’s Dracula share many things, you can pick up our book and get the gist of the original, there is plenty of new material to make Dracula And Kittens more than another mash-up. Dracula And Kittens becomes a relentless assault on your literary senses.
The important changes worth mentioning are the additions of the kittens and Amleia Gale.
The kittens are meant to highlight the ridiculous nature of the book. Lets be honest, the book is called Dracula And Kittens, not “An Affair In Which A Vampire’s Diabolic Plot Involves A Kitten Army and lawyers”! Dracula’s entire plan for world domination, which by the way he only wants because he wants friends, is centered around expanding his pet store franchise. He only sells kittens, and only those who, when they bite a human, turns them into a zombie.
Why not another vampire? Because other vampires are boring. But a zombie? A zombie will be your friend to the end, or at least until it figures out how to eat you.
Amleia Gale serves as our doorway to Dracula And Kitten‘s larger universe. She gives Harker a personality flaw that he needed and she keeps us from getting boxed in like Pride And Prejudice And Zombies. They’re stuck in Jane Austen’s universe. With Dracula And Kittens, if it does well, we’re fixed to blow off the doors of Stoker’s world and run wild and free. Much like the winners of those Lingerie Football League contests where you get to tackle the player of your choice.
I’m not kidding. They really have contests like that. Although … I can only joke about them and not participate. Being married is awesome!
Bram Stoker’s Dracula has some heavy themes in it, sexuality and the triumph of science over religion among them. Those themes are here but pushed to their obnoxious extremes. Every character in our book wants to sleep with each other. Even Renfield!
With Dracula And Kittens, I have no agenda. I just want the person next to you on the plane or bus to snort their drink out of their nose. That’s a great conversation starter and it’ll drive sales of the book.
“Did you see that guy?
“Yeah. There’s orange juice everywhere.”
“Say, what’s he reading?”
“Dracula And Kittens?”
“Yeah?”
“Huh. Any book that can get a grown man to snort orange juice from his nose has got to be good. Lets buy it!”
You can make that happen. Publish this book.
